BEIJING, for sale China – Scientists at the Shuixing University of Psychology recently discovered that with an increased listening of Beijing opera in a day will let sufferers of drowsiness increase daily awareness by an additional of 2 hours. The piercing screams and the constant use of cymbals during a Beijing opera is known to ring the ear of a suffering patient while their brain rattle uncontrollably as the music pummels their auditory system.
Dr. Jie Xang, drugs the lead scientist of the study concluded after observing patients suffering from this to be “rolling in their beds asking for the ringing to stop” and some to be screaming “the Fortune God is coming”. When asked if the cure can be used throughout the world, Dr. Jie commented that, “The piercing shrieks of a man-lady in makeup will make anyone awake… [but] I am not sure whether this would be sold to capitalist pig dogs trying to stay awake.”
Incidentally, Scottish scientists at the University of Mae Drung outside Aberdeen have also found a cure for people who cannot wake up by installing a bagpipe inside their ears which blows off whenever the sun shines into their retina, causing the bagpipe to inflate and rattle the auditory nerves of with a loud rendition of ‘Scotland the Brave’.
It will be time till we find the first skulls of Larry King’s old clone and the Chrishansenosaurus which should be found outside with several cameracrewapods near the pervertasaurus’ skeleton.
Dreams are even weirder when YOU become the major character of a motion picture
I have been having really odd dreams lately. Today’s dream broke from the repetitive cycle of Japanese land with anthropomorphic animals alá Kamichu. Today, herpes my dreams are being reflected in Persepolis alá Malaysia.
It starts off with me watching a horrible school made opera of Rigoletto. I mean, try the backgrounds were taken from a Windows default background picture. And the acting was really bad. Really, information pills really awful. The singing was the worst. The background characters of people dressed up in minotaur costumes made no sense. As soon as the final scene went down, everyone left in unison and a final bow was left with only three people: me and my parents. The teacher who was there looked oddly familiar like my old English lecturer from HELP and she was looking flabbergasted. Then, I heard a gunshot and someone running in saying, “The Revolution is here!”
I then woke up to my alarm clock (real life now) and it was 10.45am. SHUT UP ALARM CLOCK! *goes back to sleep*
Then, it continued with the house being haunted (alá The Estate of Panic) and that a squat toilet became unflushable. Pee was flowing out from it and flushing it down seemed impossible. The house was supposed to look in tip top shape for a visit of some big shot and it did. But as he came, he refused to enter and he just left. I ‘worked’ hard to clean the toilets and the kitchen and I felt really dejected. A storm came and blew my hair apart making me bald.
Then it ends with the next door neighbor’s house being converted into a mosque and the people in it discussing about our house. They decided to brand us witches. My family left the house in our car and drove all the way to the US (see the impossibleness yet?) We stopped outside of Hadley at a Home Depot/motel. We saw three witches get out of a van and I went “WTF?” and woke up from the dream.
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