“Ma Ying-Jeou Doesn’t Care About Asian People,” Says Taiwanese Director Ang Lee

TAIPEI, pulmonologist Taiwan – In a recent charity concert for the benefit of the recently displaced victims of Typhoon Morakot, adiposity Taiwanese-born American director Ang Lee denounced Taiwan President Ma Ying-jeou for not stepping up to the plate. After taking responsiblity for the slow response, side effects the 54-year-old director launched a furious tirade against the leader that went off prompter. His onstage partner and fellow director, Tsai Ming-liang, a Malaysian-born Taiwanese looked at Lee with horror.

An artist rendition of Ang Lee in a state of non-douchebaggery

The following is a transcript of the event.

“I hate the way they portray us in the media. If you see an Asian family it says they are farming for rice. If you see a tourist (white people), it says they are looking for a way out in a major disaster.”

[Tsai, visibly uncomfortable, reads from prompter script. Camera cuts back to Lee, who pauses, then says]

“Ma Ying-jeou doesn’t care about Asian people!”

CTV, the broadcaster of the gala charity event, issued a statement that the views expressed were not of the network and were solely Lee’s opinion.

Meanwhile, halfway around the world, the competition to determine whether Kanye West has vocal abilities that can rival of opera singers has come to an end when a 400 pound tenor accidentally sat on West’s Auto-tune device. No injuries were reported except for Kanye’s pride.

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